If you're looking for an almost guaranteed way to get you balling your eyes out on your wedding day, then I highly recommend considering to write your own wedding vows. While this isn't for everyone, it may be the perfect opportunity for you to add a bit more intentionality and personality on your wedding day. At the end of the day, whether you decide to write your own wedding vows or not will be completely up to you. However, before you make any solid decision on if you should write your own wedding vows, here are some pro's and con's on the topic.
Pro's Of Writing Your Own Wedding Vows
If you've been debating on whether or not you should write your own wedding vows, listen up! Writing your own vows is something incredibly intimate and special which is why many couples choose to incorporate this detail into their wedding day festivities.
They Add Intentionality & Personality
One of the many reasons couples choose to write their own vows is because it adds a bit more personality, intentionality and uniqueness to their wedding ceremony. Many couples will choose to forego writing their vows and stick with tradition. Which first of all, is completely okay! Writing your own vows is not for everyone. However, if you're someone who is wanting to stray away from tradition and create a once-in-a-lifetime experience, then writing your own vows is just one way to do that. By writing your own vows, you're able to add bits and pieces from your relationship and create an individualized set of vows that speaks to you and your partner. I'm talking the vows that make you tear up, completely ball your eyes out or have you holding your gut from laughing so hard. These are all valid reasons into thinking about writing your own wedding vows on your wedding day.
They Can Be A Part Of Your Wedding Memorabilia
One of the best things about large events such as your wedding is that there are plenty of keepsakes to go around. Many brides choose to keep their wedding dress, shoes, or heirlooms to pass down to their future children. One of those key pieces that can be passed on as a part of your wedding memorabilia are your wedding vows. You can hang them on your wall, inside a scrapbook, or have them sitting next to you on your bedside table. Really, the options are limitless. As a keepsake, you're able to relive these moments as if they were yesterday. If you take the time to pour your heart and soul out on paper, then you might as well save these memories and words to serve as a reminder of how you felt on your wedding day.
It's A Nice Surprise To Your Wedding Guests
If you've ever been to a wedding before, I can guarantee that you have dazed out at the "traditional, in the box" type wedding vows. Don't lie, I know it happens to the best of us. However, if you're someone who is wanting more for their wedding day, meaning you want everyone to be listening and engaged, then writing your own vows will do it. Not only will writing your own vows surprise your guests, but will allow them to be intrigued with what is going to be said next.
Con's For Writing Your Own Vows
There aren't pro's without any con's so here are a few reasons why some of you may be choosing to skip the personal written vows and stick with tradition!
Everyone Will Hear Them
One reason many couples may choose to not write personal vows is because well, it's personal. When you're writing your own vows, you do have to think about how everyone who is attending your wedding will read them. This, in and of itself, can be a major deterrent for couples and is one of the many reasons why couples choose to stick with traditional wedding vows instead of writing their own.
However, I do have to propose an alternative. Rather than reading your personal wedding vows at the ceremony, you always have the option of exchanging vows and love letters privately before the ceremony. This way you and your partner are still able to get that intentionality and personalization from your wedding vows, but you don't have to physically pour your heart and soul in front of all your guests.
You May Not Have The Time
Let's face it, planning a wedding can be stressful and incredibly time consuming. Especially the months leading up the wedding, you are trying to balance work, a social life and planning a wedding, it can be a lot. Many couples who choose to not write their own wedding vows do so because they frankly just don't have the time. It takes time to write down your deepest thoughts and feelings and to do it well. Honestly, writing your vows should take some time and thought and that's completely normal. If you know that you are someone who is up to your eyeballs in work and planning, then writing your own vows may be a definite no go.
That's Not Your Style
Frankly, it's okay to say that you don't want to do something because you just don't want to do it. Some couples choose to not write their own wedding vows because they honestly just don't want to. They don't feel like dedicating the time or energy into writing their own vows and would much rather focus on other aspects of their day. Make sure that you are talking with your partner through this decision and come to a conclusion that you both agree on before knocking the idea!